'Love The Way You Lie'

And, ICYMI, the interview with Eminem, at GQ's, "Survivors Music Portfolio":

The current Mathers narrative revolves around his triumph over a nasty addiction to prescription meds. It's not a touchy subject: Within minutes, he introduces the topic, explaining how he used to drink and pop pills to get through his concerts. "I'm very much a creature of habit," he says, picking up his Red Bull. "If I'm used to waking up in the morning and having one of these, I could do it every morning for the next ten years straight until I find something else to move on to. So if I'm used to taking a Vicodin when I wake up in the morning because I'm hungover from ­drinking or taking pills..." He trails off. "The bigger the crowd, the bigger my habit got."

Mathers says you can trace the arc of his addiction by listening to his albums: He was more or less sober writing the white-trash party that was The Slim Shady LP (1999); he credits experimentation with drugs for taking his music to unexpected places on The Marshall Mathers LP (2000); with The Eminem Show (2002), he struck the perfect balance—a potent mix of punch-line raps and intensely biographical material. Then the balance tipped: His fourth album, Encore, was his weakest, and it took him two years to complete because of his addiction to pills. "Five or six songs leaked from the original version of Encore," he says. "So I had to go in and make new songs to replace them. In my head I was pissed off: 'Oh well. Songs leaked. Fuck it. I'm just going to take a bunch of fucking pills and go in there and have a party with myself.' I'm sure the more pills I took, the goofier I got."

He's a little hazy about that time, when he was taking, by his own account, somewhere between sixty and ninety pills a day, including Valium, Vicodin, Ambien, and Seroquel (used to treat schizophrenia). "Ambien," he says, "ate a hole through my brain." He thinks he went to rehab in 2005, but don't hold him to that. Like I said, it's a little hazy.

Rehab was not a safe space for Eminem. "Look," he says, "every addict in rehab feels like everyone's staring at them. With me? Everyone was staring at me. I could never be comfortable. There were people there that treated me normal. Then there were a bunch of fucking idiots who aren't even concentrating on their own sobriety because they're so worried about mine. They're stealing my hats, my books—it was chaos. Everything was drama in there. And at the time, I didn't really want to get clean. Everybody else wanted me to. And anyone will tell you: If you're not ready, nothing is going to change you. Love, nothing."

He left rehab pissed off and heavily burdened with what he calls "woe is me"—and started popping pills again. It nearly killed him. "I came to in the hospital and I didn't know what the fuck happened," he says. "Tubes in me and shit, fuckin' needles in my arms. I didn't realize I had [overdosed]. I wanted my drugs—get me the fuck outta there! I think I was clean for two weeks. I was trying so hard—I was trying to do it for my kids—but I just wasn't ready."

What finally got him clean after a second relapse wasn't his kids or his coma or even hip-hop. This time he really thought he was going to die. "I had a feeling in my arm that was weird, man," he says. "Like, it really freaked me out. So I went to some people I trust and said, 'Look, I know I need help. I'm ready now.' I got a room in the same hospital where I overdosed, and I detoxed."

More here: "The Survivors: Eminem."